Hello all!
I promised myself I would update this more but I never get around to it! There's really not that much to update any way but I figured I'd gloat a little. I've had 2 periods completely on my own!!! They're both about 70 day cycles and I'm not 100% if they were ovulatory cycles or just break through bleeding but I'm definitely making progress. I've also lost about 40 pounds since we started ttcing and couldn't be happier with that! I've definitely got more energy and am sure the lower weight will help with conceiving and carrying a baby! It's been a nice break too. Losing weight has been a hard task for me but it and my high blood pressure have taken over the constant thoughts of us not having a baby and how badly we do want one. I know I'm less depressed and have a lot more hope that we can achieve our dream some day. Also it's given me time to reflect on how precious this time is with Keith right now. I was in such a hurry to add a little one to all of this that I wasn't really enjoying this alone time where we are just a couple and can do crazy impromptu couple things with little worry or regard. We'll gladly hand this time over when we have a little one but it's wonderful to have my eyes opened so we can both be cherishing this blissful time too.
I'm so blessed to have the friendship and support of all of you ladies (since about 98% of you are ladies but I love the fellas too!)and I'm sure you've all seen this either on your own or on my MySpace blog or Facebook post but I wanted to share this wonderful video with all of you. Take care and lots of love to all of you!
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Resolutions
I've been thinking about my resolutions since the 1st and I think I've finally narrowed down what I can realistically do in a year.
1. I will continue my commitment to our health & fitness.
2. I will listen to more classical music.
3. I will repair my oboe and play it at least once a week.
4. I will truly make an effort to be in touch more often.
5. I will become a doula.
6. I will finish all the books I got for Christmas.
7. I will not let others use me or take me for granted.
8. I will write more in my blog, my notebook, and LJ.
9. I will express my feelings more.
10. I will expand our front porch farm.
That's all I've got. I know these aren't major resolutions but I thought about it and figured, "why lie?" I could say that I want to lose so much weight, learn to do this or that, and if any of that happens great but I'm not going to promise myself I'm going to do something and then not put 100% into it. I want to live more honestly and simply and I'm taking the necessary steps to get there.
Today my grandma turned 87 and I can't tell you all how blessed I feel that she is such an active part of our family and so involved in my life. For many years I took her for granted and treated her like more of a nuisance and I will never forgive myself for that. She is so essential and precious to me now and I want to enjoy every minute with her and my mom.
Keith has started working at the ELS school at Eckerd College and is currently teaching foreigners English. I couldn't be prouder of him! He has taken his college education and is actually putting it to use. He is one of my main motivations to getting my ass back in gear and doing something that I love as a career.
My friends have been extremely influential too. Julie has signed up for a trained to run a 13 mile race to raise awareness for her husband's condition! Liz and Danielle both experienced hardships that they overcame with grace and amazing quickness! Kate started college this year and I know she will do amazing things! Beloved friends of mine from the past are back in my life and I've grown closer to Johanna and truly feel blessed that they are all critical parts of my life now. Not to mention the numerous women on the Nest who amaze and inspire me every day with their generous hearts and honesty.
Our puppies are going to be 3 in 6 short days and in 13 days we celebrate Keith's mom's birthday, our cousin Krista's birthday, and the inauguration of Barak Obama!!! I can't believe that in 12 short days we will be done with Bush!!! I'm ecstatic! For so many reasons aside from this (but definitely including it) I know that this is going to be a good year for all of us!
Wishing all of you happiness, health, and lots of love!
Take care!
xoxo
1. I will continue my commitment to our health & fitness.
2. I will listen to more classical music.
3. I will repair my oboe and play it at least once a week.
4. I will truly make an effort to be in touch more often.
5. I will become a doula.
6. I will finish all the books I got for Christmas.
7. I will not let others use me or take me for granted.
8. I will write more in my blog, my notebook, and LJ.
9. I will express my feelings more.
10. I will expand our front porch farm.
That's all I've got. I know these aren't major resolutions but I thought about it and figured, "why lie?" I could say that I want to lose so much weight, learn to do this or that, and if any of that happens great but I'm not going to promise myself I'm going to do something and then not put 100% into it. I want to live more honestly and simply and I'm taking the necessary steps to get there.
Today my grandma turned 87 and I can't tell you all how blessed I feel that she is such an active part of our family and so involved in my life. For many years I took her for granted and treated her like more of a nuisance and I will never forgive myself for that. She is so essential and precious to me now and I want to enjoy every minute with her and my mom.
Keith has started working at the ELS school at Eckerd College and is currently teaching foreigners English. I couldn't be prouder of him! He has taken his college education and is actually putting it to use. He is one of my main motivations to getting my ass back in gear and doing something that I love as a career.
My friends have been extremely influential too. Julie has signed up for a trained to run a 13 mile race to raise awareness for her husband's condition! Liz and Danielle both experienced hardships that they overcame with grace and amazing quickness! Kate started college this year and I know she will do amazing things! Beloved friends of mine from the past are back in my life and I've grown closer to Johanna and truly feel blessed that they are all critical parts of my life now. Not to mention the numerous women on the Nest who amaze and inspire me every day with their generous hearts and honesty.
Our puppies are going to be 3 in 6 short days and in 13 days we celebrate Keith's mom's birthday, our cousin Krista's birthday, and the inauguration of Barak Obama!!! I can't believe that in 12 short days we will be done with Bush!!! I'm ecstatic! For so many reasons aside from this (but definitely including it) I know that this is going to be a good year for all of us!
Wishing all of you happiness, health, and lots of love!
Take care!
xoxo
Sunday, September 7, 2008
What matters to me, part 1
Growing up in a liberal, all female, middle class household inside the Beltway certainly has influenced why I was originally attracted to the Democrat party and registered myself as a Democrat the day I turned 18. I've never understood Conservative views or the Republican party, but could respect the fact that some of my family and friends did. I was always hurt and offended when those family members and friends would laugh at and brush off my opinions on what was going on in my hometown and the state of the world, but in order to keep the peace I usually let these comments and offenses go without much of a rebuttal. Still I felt angry that my way of life and principles were something that was humorous to them yet when I made light of their political views and morals I was sinful, hateful, young and stupid, and ignorant. I took that anger and used it to motivate me into the offices of Fairfax County Democrat Committee when I was 14 and I've volunteered for the Democrat party in every election since then. I'm sure I don't need to explain the disappointment I felt in 2000 and 2004, but suffice to say I was worried about the direction our country was headed in as there were so many changes politically and socially speaking. This is why I've chosen to write my experiences in my blog now. I know I probably won't change anyone's mind, but I want you all to know where I am coming from and why I feel Barak Obama is the best choice for President of the United States of America.
As a child my family considered our faith to be Catholic, however, my mother and grandmother always made sure I understood and learned about other religions and cultures and their rites and practices. I went to Catholic high school and then a Presbyterian college and now consider myself to be a Unitarian. I have not always been a deeply religious person, but have always kept a sense of spirituality and consider myself to be very in touch with God. I am very passionate about my religious views and the importance of and hypocrisy of religion. It is for this reason that I believe there must be a separation of church and state for any government to properly function. It scares me to think that Sarah Palin and John McCain do not believe this. I know that the ideals and morals that drive both of them are not what drives me and millions of other Americans. I believe in rights for all people no matter their sex, sexuality, religion, race, or economic status. I believe in and fight for a woman's right to choose and I certainly feel like the Pro-Life movement is a major violation of the separation of church and state. The job of a president should be to serve all the people not just a certain group who happen to share the same faith. I was really disgruntled to see that this year there was a debate held by a Pastor catering to the evangelical vote. I'm sure this made some people happy but to me it was a shining example of how prominent Christianity is in our government. I don't think a Imam, Pandit, Swami, or Brahma would have been given the same opportunity for a debate and I'm certain an Atheist or Pagan would've been denied immediately. Since all these religions and many more make up the fabric of America we have to learn as a country to keep religion in our homes and out of our local, state, and national political offices.
Love is another issue that should be kept in our homes and out of our government. I have always believed that a person has the right to love and marry anyone they want. I do not believe that gay marriage will destroy marriage in any way, shape, or form and I do not believe that legalizing it will lead to legal polygamy or interspecies marriages. In fact, I find those speculations highly offensive. Being gay is part of the human condition it is not a choice and should not be treated like it is some sort of fetish or phase. This is why I can't understand how and why Republicans feel so strongly against gay marriage or civil unions. My family has had to struggle with this prejudice for almost 2 decades now. I have a cousin in Texas who has been in love with her female partner for almost 20 years. They have always been faithful to one and other and are true soul mates. Even the most conservative members of my family consider her partner to be more like her wife and have accepted her into our family. 10 years ago my cousin was diagnosed with ovarian cancer and had to endure grueling medical treatment. During this time her partner was either forced to wait outside for news as she was not considered to be family or was forced to lie and say she was a sister in order to be by the side of her best friend and spouse. No one should ever have to go through something like this. This is not only demeaning and cruel it's segregation.
As most of you know I consider myself to be a bisexual and thus a part of the LGBT community. Yes, I married a wonderful man and we are in a committed monogamous relationship. No, that doesn't mean that I'm no longer bisexual. When we got married I was able to bring our wedding certificate to the Social Security office and in about an hour I was able to change my name to whatever I wanted free of charge. Our good friends who were married a year before us, who happen to be lesbians, were still dealing with the process of changing one of their names. They had to go to court and pay upwards of $500 for something I got to do absolutely free. How is this fair? Why should our government be able to come in and dictate which people are able to get married, or adopt children, or simply visit their life partner in a hospital?
I've made it no secret that I want to be a mother someday. I can only hope and pray that someday we will conceive a child of our own, but dealing with infertility there's a chance we might have to consider adoption. Knowing that the state of Florida requires that you report whether or not you consider yourself gay or bisexual could jeopardize the chances we have of adopting. I can only hope that if we choose to adopt we will have people in office that truly understand what family means and how important having good parents, regardless of their sexuality, is essential to healthy development for any and all children.
I know that someday I will make a good mother. We will teach our children love and tolerance and not feed them hateful ideals and prejudices. We will expose them to a variety of ideas, cultures, and beliefs to give them a true perspective of our world so they can not only be good Americans, but good citizens of the world. We will give our children respect and understanding and share our experiences and mistakes with them so they can make informed choices and decisions. It really scares me to think that Sarah Palin has stated that she would make her daughters carry a child that was the result of rape or incest (not to mention the fact that she made it so that victims of rape had to pay for their own rape kits and processing). I'm not going to attack her for being a mother since this is something I desire so strongly and I can commend her on having 5 children, but I will say that being a mother and actually parenting your children are 2 different things. What kind of mother endangers her child by going to speak at a summit and taking an 8 hour flight back home while in leaking amniotic fluid? What kind of mother returns to work 3 days after giving birth? I've known women who had little to no maternity leave at all but they used up their sick leave or filed for FMLA time off or quit because they knew the importance and bonding that must happen in those precious first months. Does Sarah Palin even have an active parenting relationship with her children? How much support or guidance did she give Bristol while she was growing up? Or was her career more important? Obviously her career and becoming a running mate for John McCain were more important to her then being a mother to Trig.
I know this is running long and I haven't even touched on health care, the economy, foreign affairs, women's rights, animal rights, the environment, education, or poverty. I plan on doing at least 2 more of these but it will all be based on the kind of feedback I get so please let me know what you're thinking. Thanks for reading and I hope you are all taking this election very seriously. For those of you in Florida who haven't already registered to vote please remember that it's not too late to do so but you've got to do it before October 5th! For those of you elsewhere in the country or unable to make it out to register or ask for an absentee ballot Barak Obama's campaign has put together this handy website :
Peace!
xoxo
As a child my family considered our faith to be Catholic, however, my mother and grandmother always made sure I understood and learned about other religions and cultures and their rites and practices. I went to Catholic high school and then a Presbyterian college and now consider myself to be a Unitarian. I have not always been a deeply religious person, but have always kept a sense of spirituality and consider myself to be very in touch with God. I am very passionate about my religious views and the importance of and hypocrisy of religion. It is for this reason that I believe there must be a separation of church and state for any government to properly function. It scares me to think that Sarah Palin and John McCain do not believe this. I know that the ideals and morals that drive both of them are not what drives me and millions of other Americans. I believe in rights for all people no matter their sex, sexuality, religion, race, or economic status. I believe in and fight for a woman's right to choose and I certainly feel like the Pro-Life movement is a major violation of the separation of church and state. The job of a president should be to serve all the people not just a certain group who happen to share the same faith. I was really disgruntled to see that this year there was a debate held by a Pastor catering to the evangelical vote. I'm sure this made some people happy but to me it was a shining example of how prominent Christianity is in our government. I don't think a Imam, Pandit, Swami, or Brahma would have been given the same opportunity for a debate and I'm certain an Atheist or Pagan would've been denied immediately. Since all these religions and many more make up the fabric of America we have to learn as a country to keep religion in our homes and out of our local, state, and national political offices.
Love is another issue that should be kept in our homes and out of our government. I have always believed that a person has the right to love and marry anyone they want. I do not believe that gay marriage will destroy marriage in any way, shape, or form and I do not believe that legalizing it will lead to legal polygamy or interspecies marriages. In fact, I find those speculations highly offensive. Being gay is part of the human condition it is not a choice and should not be treated like it is some sort of fetish or phase. This is why I can't understand how and why Republicans feel so strongly against gay marriage or civil unions. My family has had to struggle with this prejudice for almost 2 decades now. I have a cousin in Texas who has been in love with her female partner for almost 20 years. They have always been faithful to one and other and are true soul mates. Even the most conservative members of my family consider her partner to be more like her wife and have accepted her into our family. 10 years ago my cousin was diagnosed with ovarian cancer and had to endure grueling medical treatment. During this time her partner was either forced to wait outside for news as she was not considered to be family or was forced to lie and say she was a sister in order to be by the side of her best friend and spouse. No one should ever have to go through something like this. This is not only demeaning and cruel it's segregation.
As most of you know I consider myself to be a bisexual and thus a part of the LGBT community. Yes, I married a wonderful man and we are in a committed monogamous relationship. No, that doesn't mean that I'm no longer bisexual. When we got married I was able to bring our wedding certificate to the Social Security office and in about an hour I was able to change my name to whatever I wanted free of charge. Our good friends who were married a year before us, who happen to be lesbians, were still dealing with the process of changing one of their names. They had to go to court and pay upwards of $500 for something I got to do absolutely free. How is this fair? Why should our government be able to come in and dictate which people are able to get married, or adopt children, or simply visit their life partner in a hospital?
I've made it no secret that I want to be a mother someday. I can only hope and pray that someday we will conceive a child of our own, but dealing with infertility there's a chance we might have to consider adoption. Knowing that the state of Florida requires that you report whether or not you consider yourself gay or bisexual could jeopardize the chances we have of adopting. I can only hope that if we choose to adopt we will have people in office that truly understand what family means and how important having good parents, regardless of their sexuality, is essential to healthy development for any and all children.
I know that someday I will make a good mother. We will teach our children love and tolerance and not feed them hateful ideals and prejudices. We will expose them to a variety of ideas, cultures, and beliefs to give them a true perspective of our world so they can not only be good Americans, but good citizens of the world. We will give our children respect and understanding and share our experiences and mistakes with them so they can make informed choices and decisions. It really scares me to think that Sarah Palin has stated that she would make her daughters carry a child that was the result of rape or incest (not to mention the fact that she made it so that victims of rape had to pay for their own rape kits and processing). I'm not going to attack her for being a mother since this is something I desire so strongly and I can commend her on having 5 children, but I will say that being a mother and actually parenting your children are 2 different things. What kind of mother endangers her child by going to speak at a summit and taking an 8 hour flight back home while in leaking amniotic fluid? What kind of mother returns to work 3 days after giving birth? I've known women who had little to no maternity leave at all but they used up their sick leave or filed for FMLA time off or quit because they knew the importance and bonding that must happen in those precious first months. Does Sarah Palin even have an active parenting relationship with her children? How much support or guidance did she give Bristol while she was growing up? Or was her career more important? Obviously her career and becoming a running mate for John McCain were more important to her then being a mother to Trig.
I know this is running long and I haven't even touched on health care, the economy, foreign affairs, women's rights, animal rights, the environment, education, or poverty. I plan on doing at least 2 more of these but it will all be based on the kind of feedback I get so please let me know what you're thinking. Thanks for reading and I hope you are all taking this election very seriously. For those of you in Florida who haven't already registered to vote please remember that it's not too late to do so but you've got to do it before October 5th! For those of you elsewhere in the country or unable to make it out to register or ask for an absentee ballot Barak Obama's campaign has put together this handy website :
Peace!
xoxo
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Sunday, July 6, 2008
Saw this quote on the Nest....
and I didn't want to forget it. I'm not sure this will be it, but I've been looking for text for a tattoo to symbolize how I've been feeling regarding my PCOS and this painful journey and I think this is the one.
Listen to the MUSTN'TS, child, Listen to the DONT'S
Listen to the SHOULDN'TS The IMPOSSIBLES, the WON'TS
Listen to the NEVER HAVES Then listen close to me-
Anything can happen, child, ANYTHING can be.
-Shel Silverstein
Listen to the MUSTN'TS, child, Listen to the DONT'S
Listen to the SHOULDN'TS The IMPOSSIBLES, the WON'TS
Listen to the NEVER HAVES Then listen close to me-
Anything can happen, child, ANYTHING can be.
-Shel Silverstein
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Ho hum
Yet again I've noticed that I've been neglecting my blogs. I guess I don't have the same need or drive to write in them as often. Which on one hand is good, but I do miss writing.
I guess my biggest update is I've been taken off of Metformin. I don't miss it at all, but I've gained back a little of the weight I had lost. I've had strange high blood pressure issues so my long time doctor told me to cut out the Met. I was doing well for a couple of weeks, but then I got sick again and my bp went up yet again. So we'll see. I may need blood pressure meds, but my regular doctor is pretty confident I won't. Until everything gets straightened out with that situation we're on hold with our RE as she doesn't want me to get pg and get pre-eclampsia at 24 weeks. I'm not exactly thrilled by this, but I too want a healthy pregnancy so I'll wait.
lol. Keith and I went to get new glasses the other day and I decided to ask my Optometrist if he saw many women on Clomid complaining about vision changes. He said no and had to tell me that his wife took Clomid for 6 cycles before they got pregnant with twins! He told me to be prepared for multiples and referenced John and Kate plus 8! lol! It's little things like that that help me to still feel normal sometimes. I hate admitting that I don't feel normal sometimes, but it's true. I feel like a lesser woman and often find myself getting angry at random women who have no health problems and conceive easily. My acupuncturist has been recommending I go to the monthly Resolve meetings and I think maybe next month we will. I would love to actually meet other ladies in the area going through what we're going through.
Anyways, all of this is starting to sound a little too "poor me" so I'm done with that. Hope all of you are well and thanks for reading!
xo
I guess my biggest update is I've been taken off of Metformin. I don't miss it at all, but I've gained back a little of the weight I had lost. I've had strange high blood pressure issues so my long time doctor told me to cut out the Met. I was doing well for a couple of weeks, but then I got sick again and my bp went up yet again. So we'll see. I may need blood pressure meds, but my regular doctor is pretty confident I won't. Until everything gets straightened out with that situation we're on hold with our RE as she doesn't want me to get pg and get pre-eclampsia at 24 weeks. I'm not exactly thrilled by this, but I too want a healthy pregnancy so I'll wait.
lol. Keith and I went to get new glasses the other day and I decided to ask my Optometrist if he saw many women on Clomid complaining about vision changes. He said no and had to tell me that his wife took Clomid for 6 cycles before they got pregnant with twins! He told me to be prepared for multiples and referenced John and Kate plus 8! lol! It's little things like that that help me to still feel normal sometimes. I hate admitting that I don't feel normal sometimes, but it's true. I feel like a lesser woman and often find myself getting angry at random women who have no health problems and conceive easily. My acupuncturist has been recommending I go to the monthly Resolve meetings and I think maybe next month we will. I would love to actually meet other ladies in the area going through what we're going through.
Anyways, all of this is starting to sound a little too "poor me" so I'm done with that. Hope all of you are well and thanks for reading!
xo
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
I honestly haven't been up to an update...
until I noticed my last update was in September!!!
So, a very brief run through of the last few months... I'm on 2000 mg of Metformin every day now and have so far lost 20 pounds! Woo hoo! I have noticed a rise and fall on my fertility monitor which means my body is finally starting to normalize hormonally speaking and once I get the right combination of meds, or my body miraculously ovulates on it's own, I will be able to read it on the monitor and can hopefully conceive that month! I was originally bummed when Dr. Goodman didn't put me back on Clomid, but I've really enjoyed taking the pressure off of "did I conceive this month?" and just relaxing and exercising and getting healthy! Keith had a sperm analysis a few months ago and everything looked good there and since he also started a new job and it's almost been 3 months in just a few short weeks we will have health insurance!!!! This is a huge, huge plus! Taking that into account I am going to go to the OBGYN Dr. Goodman recommended to me for an annual and then go back to Dr. Goodman in February. So medically speaking, that's what's up with us!
I had a really hard time in October/early November dealing with a lot of my friends calling to report their BFPs and learning about friends who are pregnant (like 2nd & 3rd trimester pregnant) who didn't want to tell me about it. The BFPs are easier to deal with as it's just a little bit of jealousy mixed in with a whole lot of excitement and love for them, but the friends who couldn't tell me they were pregnant and are ready to have their kids in 2-3 months I'm really upset with. They thought I couldn't handle it and they were waiting for the right time to tell me. It makes me so sad and insecure that some of my friends have all of a sudden decided that I'm too involved and emotionally unstable to handle news like this. I'm entitled to feel a little wishful and jealous... especially when you tell me that it was all an accident and maybe if I just relax it will happen to me. I really am hurt by all this and am feeling like I may need to tighten up my circle of friends yet again. Anyways, that's been one of my major hurdles, but otherwise I'm doing great and keeping busy!
Happy holidays to all and thanks for reading!
So, a very brief run through of the last few months... I'm on 2000 mg of Metformin every day now and have so far lost 20 pounds! Woo hoo! I have noticed a rise and fall on my fertility monitor which means my body is finally starting to normalize hormonally speaking and once I get the right combination of meds, or my body miraculously ovulates on it's own, I will be able to read it on the monitor and can hopefully conceive that month! I was originally bummed when Dr. Goodman didn't put me back on Clomid, but I've really enjoyed taking the pressure off of "did I conceive this month?" and just relaxing and exercising and getting healthy! Keith had a sperm analysis a few months ago and everything looked good there and since he also started a new job and it's almost been 3 months in just a few short weeks we will have health insurance!!!! This is a huge, huge plus! Taking that into account I am going to go to the OBGYN Dr. Goodman recommended to me for an annual and then go back to Dr. Goodman in February. So medically speaking, that's what's up with us!
I had a really hard time in October/early November dealing with a lot of my friends calling to report their BFPs and learning about friends who are pregnant (like 2nd & 3rd trimester pregnant) who didn't want to tell me about it. The BFPs are easier to deal with as it's just a little bit of jealousy mixed in with a whole lot of excitement and love for them, but the friends who couldn't tell me they were pregnant and are ready to have their kids in 2-3 months I'm really upset with. They thought I couldn't handle it and they were waiting for the right time to tell me. It makes me so sad and insecure that some of my friends have all of a sudden decided that I'm too involved and emotionally unstable to handle news like this. I'm entitled to feel a little wishful and jealous... especially when you tell me that it was all an accident and maybe if I just relax it will happen to me. I really am hurt by all this and am feeling like I may need to tighten up my circle of friends yet again. Anyways, that's been one of my major hurdles, but otherwise I'm doing great and keeping busy!
Happy holidays to all and thanks for reading!
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